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God Bless the Beatles III
Bustin' Ma Jamz
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Yo, yo, yo! What up, homie dudes? It's me, da Peg Shady and I'm livin' it up, here in the MPL dungeon. Tee hee! Many people have been asking me, "Yo Peg? Why do you think you're so ghetto all of a sudden?" Psh. What do they know? I totally bought this bumper sticker that says "Ghetto Booty". Isn't that proof enough? Whatever. Anywho, you may have been wondering about my league of absense (a crunko expression I heard Geoff say on the phone once, when he was talking to his morphine-dealer). I'm sure you've all missed me like a mofo' in the time that I've been gone, though it wasn't without good reason! Over the past few weeks, I've secretly been pumpin' up my jamz, on the down low (if Paul were to find out I was using his expensive recording thingies, he'd bust a cap in my peg!). I think the neato rapper dudes call it, "underground" work. Yeah! That's what it iz. So anywayz, I have put together this totally bitchin' album, called "Slim Pegmeistah". It's a compilation (like, what?) of these tight rap songs I've written and sung myself.

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A lot of my song inspiration comes from some of my favorite rappers. Skittle has got to be one of the biggest influences on my sound! First of all, he's got a tight stage-name (being named after a candy and all). And secondly...well, I usually just steal all his songs and change a few of the words. So yeah, he's pretty inspirational. Then, there's Two-Pack. I've never really heard any of his junk but I respect that he's been making it all this time. Um...50 Cent, Doctor Dray, Ludi-something...all very influential artists who have helped shape the sound...THAT IS PEG.

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And as you can very well see, my new album has been a real success! I recieved a Grammy, which was super neato. Thus, if those Grammy dudes think it's dope, you will too! Buy your copy of "Slim Pegmeistah" today. It's only $136.99 so order now, while supplies are like, um, here. You save $0.50 if you call NOW! That's a total steal! Don't let this opportunity thingy pass you buy. Call now!

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Lyrics to the title track: Like, My Name Is:
 
Hi!  My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is...{scratches} Slim Peggy!
Hi!  My name is..(huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Peggy!
 
Excuse me! May I please have the attention of the rich dudes for one second?
Hi homies! Do you like money? (Yeah yeah yeah!).
Wanna see me shake my duh-dunka-a-dunk-dunk? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy Peg and do everything exactly like me? (Yeah yeah)
Write an autobio and lose lots of money? (Huh?)
My wallet's dead weight, and I'm tryin' to filler'up.
But I can't figure out which rich dude I wanna hump. (Ummm...)
And Rapstah' Geoff say, "Peg, you be trippin!"
Tee hee! I say, "Shut yo face hole and stop ya bitchin!"
Well since age whatever, I've been totally hot-like.
Cause everyone wants a piece of the original prosthesis!
Got pissed off and ripped my fake leg off.
And smacked Paul so hard I knocked his fake hair backwards!
I spend a fat pound of dough' and sometimes more~
Faster than a fat Paul who at the grocery store.
C'mere Fattie! I'll show you what you want.
I don't give a landmine, God sent me to piss the world off!
 
Hi!  My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is...{scratches} Slim Peggy!
Hi!  My name is..(huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Peggy!
 
My English teacher dude wanted to flunk me in junior high
I all be like, "What da problem is? My English is fly!"
I smacked him in the face with my leg, and chased him with a lawsuit
And sued his ass till I could actually pay for law school.
But making my own money proved to be real gay!
My professeur was a female, so my advances never payed!
So I was forced to take da streets and do what I do best (Uh-huh!)
Cocktails and miniskirts leadin' to a shagfest.
And those who didn't pay me was makin' a mistake
Put 'em in a car trunk and drove 'em in the lake. (Neato!)
I told my homies I'd grow up and be a famous rapper
Make a record about landmines, and take it to the crapper.
I'd marry into money like Anna Nicole Smith.
Put my career on hold, while I worked my way in da will (Dat's right).
Handin' out autographs and signing pet rocks.
So I'd sign it: "Dear Geoff, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!"
 
Hi!  My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is...{scratches} Slim Peggy!
Hi!  My name is..(huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Peggy!
 
Stop the tape thingie! This chick is too neato! (Get her!)
Rapstah' Peggith gotta bust befo' all her fans get her.
I know I'm totally hotto, but you'll have to wait your turn (F*** dat!)
Paul ain't dead yet, and there's many bucks to earn.
Am I cummin' or goin' - I can barely decide.
I just drank a fifth of apple juice -- dare me to drive? 
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a free latte in years, and my fake leg needs a shave.
How many years has it been since my last rave?
I steal when I shop, and I've been on Larry King
My talents are endless - I can hump, shag, and sing!
I'm full of surprises, I can do anything!
So why does Fatty insist I stop my wicked jamz?
Does the competition scare him, or is it my yams?
He can do whatevah' he wants 'doe, and tell it like it iz
As long as I'm on TV, I say, "What da problem is?"
And by the way, when you see that smelly Geoff?
Tell him HE BE TRIPPIN' cuz da PEG IS IN DAH HOUSE!
 
Hi!  My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is...{scratches} Slim Peggy!
Hi!  My name is..(huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Peggy!


Lyrics to: Cleaning Out Your Wallet:

Have you ever been hungry and discriminated against?
I have; I've had pie thrown at me and porkchop legs.
Fans that rag on my shopping bags, look at the sags.
Can you blame if he's not the only one that I shag?
All this hatin', callin' me Satan cause I like to spend dough.
Financial planners shoot middle fingers at my investments, yo.
Not takin' nothin' from no one, give Geoff hell as I'm breathin'.
Keep kickin' prosthetics in the mornin', and takin' Flinstones vitamens in the evenin'.
Leave 'em with a taste as sour as Jane Asher in they mouth.
See, they can wigger me, but they'll never figure me out.
Look at me now; I bet ya probably sick of me now, ain't you Fatty?
I'ma eat all your pies now.

I'm sorry, Fatty!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to eat your pie, but tonight;
I'm cleanin' out your wallet.
I said I'm sorry, Fatty!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to eat your pie, but tonight;
I'm cleanin' out your wallet.

Ha! I got some Versace in my closet
and I don't know if no one knows it.
So before Oprah tells you otherwise,
I'ma expose it; I'll take you back to '97
Back in the days I was workin' at da 7-11.
I was a cash register, maybe just a ho, on the side.
My poo-poo father thought it was gay, this he had to decide.
So he split. I wonder if he left me money goodbye.
Just $100? Stupid prick! I just fuckin' wished he would die!
I look at Paul's wallet, and I couldn't picture leavin' his side.
Even if he's fat, I grit my teeth and I'd try
to make it work with him, at least for publicity sake
I maybe make some mistakes
but I'm only human, and I'm cute enough to face them today.
Eating the pie was stupid, no doubt it was dumb.
But the smartest shit I ever did was leave a few crumbs.
Cuz I'd a gained like ten pounds, and that would be totally gay.
It's my life I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Pegmeister Show".

I'm sorry, Fatty!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to eat your pie, but tonight;
I'm cleanin' out your wallet.
I said I'm sorry, Fatty!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to eat your pie, but tonight;
I'm cleanin' out your wallet.

Now I would never diss my own husband just gain recognition
That's left to Geoff, and MPL to do all the dissin'
But put yourself in my position; just to envision
spottin' this scrumptious pie sittin' in the kitchen.
Lit'rally calling, "Eat meeee, motherfuckah'" and you bettah' start listenin'!
You cannot deny that the supply of pie is low, but you give it a go.
My whole life I was made to believe calories were homo
'til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you  sick to ya stomach
doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that low-fat cake for me, PAUL?
So you could try to justify the way you EATED so much, PAUL?
But guess what? You're gettin' older now and fatter all the time.
And Stella's grown up so quick, she's knows that you're not in your prime.
And Mary's gettin' so big now, is she like pregnant or something?
Whatever, enough about them, more about me.
See what hurts me the most is you won't admit I'm the cutest
Bitch do your song - keep tellin' youself that you iz the cutest!
But how dare you try to hide your wallet far away from me!
You selfish bitch! I hope you fuckin' step on a landmine and shit.
Remember when you wrote that song, played it for me, and asked what I thought?
Well guess what? It *WAS* gay, so go smoke your pot.

I'm sorry, Fatty!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to eat your pie, but tonight;
I'm cleanin' out your wallet. (One more time)
I said I'm sorry, Fatty!
I never meant to hurt you!
I never meant to eat your pie, but tonight;
I'm cleanin' out your wallet.