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Learning the Language of Paul
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A Disgusting Revelation in Beatle News:
Abbey Road, the classic Beatles album, has seen it's cover fall victim to the latest digital photo techniques.

Paul McCartney's cigarette has now been removed from posters and other merchandising. It is now feared that the album itself could be updated when it is reissued.

A spokesman for the remaining Beatles said, "It may seem like political correctness gone mad but there is a strong feeling that smoking shouldn't be depicted as cool."

Amanda Sandford, from the anti-smoking group Ash added, "We are happy to support this action. People who see their idols holding cigarettes are more likely to copy them and start smoking themselves."


After reading this absurd revelation, we at *GBB* felt our moral obligation and *responsibilty* to speak up in regards to this recent destruction of Beatle history. Where to even begin? Howz about a poll? With a show of hands, those of you who WERE NOT aware that the BEATLES smoked cigarettes during the '60s, please raise your hand. Anyone?...anyone? You in the corner...get the fuck out of my site. As for the rest of you sustaining the least amount of COMMON SENSE, I can very well assume that you might have NOTICED the frequent cigarette pertrubing between one of the lad's fingers. This happens to be one of the many problems regarding the removal of Paul's cigarette on the Abbey Road cover. The fact that the Beatles smoked is now common knowledge. By simply removing a fag from ONE PHOTOGRAPH, who are you really fooling?


The premise of this recent abomination has to deal with the belief that our idols in the media have a very deep influence on the choices we make and the things we do. These Anti-Drug Related Committees actually have the idea that those with a favorite celebrity who happens to smoke, will be ENCOURAGED to engage in what we see our heroes doing (in this case, taking up smoking). So what are they really trying to insuate? Basically, we the public, have NO sense of capability at making our OWN decisions in life. We are like floating amebas, who lack SPINES and we must do EVERYTHING we witness our idols do, because our sense of reality is shot.


Not only is this theory demeaning and degrading, but surely enough, it's unrealistic. For the most part, people in general can make their own decisions. We know right from wrong, and are capable of distinguishing what may be hazardous to our body and minds. Every person on this planet has in some way, been enlightened about the side effects and long term risks that go along with smoking. We now understand the dangers that go along with it, and many of us have personally witnessed a loss in our family, who died from cancer (initially sprung from cigarette smoking). This too, has become common sense. Though somehow...the fact that the Beatles smoked, and the *belief* that humans are influenced to do whatever their idols do has caused all of this. A destruction of Beatle history. An significant (on their part) removal of a cigarette, that's changing a historic album cover for the sake of what? Pretending the Beatles didn't smoke? Okay...now what about the other thousands of photographs bearing the "dreadful" image of a cigarette? Do these anti-drug establishments intend on tampering all of those as well? Hell, you might as well re-write the Beatle biographies to make sure one of us spineless amebas doesn't get any ideas!


I will grant you, not everyone on this planet retains a sense of reality. There are some very pathetic people out there who will say, take up smoking after they saw Colin Farrell, or whoever else do so. If that is the case and THAT is what Tobacco Prevention companies are afraid of, I've got two words for you: NATURAL SELECTION. Survival of the fittest, my friends. You got some idiotic person who wants to start doing something they saw someone on tv do like smoking or drinking? I say, let 'em! If the stupid people on this planet want to endanger their lives with something as blatantly unhealthy as smoking, we should give them that right. You want to know why? Because it's exterminating the ignorant. It sounds a bit morbid at first but when you really think about it, don't we have ENOUGH stupid people in this world?


Now you have to understand, I am in no way defending, rationalizing, or encouraging smoking. But you know what? Neither are the Beatles. And neither is the cover of Abbey Road, as it stands. The only people who will be galvanized by this disgraceful Beatle abomination are the Beatle FANS out there, like you and I, who are profoundly repulsed by such tamperment. You are not saving any lives by deleting the cigarette...you are PISSING OFF BEATLE FANS who can look past the surface and call you on all your shit. Trust me, you do NOT wanna piss off BEATLE fans. And that is all that is accomplished through what they have done.


However, though these corporate bastards may have one the battle, we Beatles fan have already won the war. How so, you ask? Well, look at the facts. These anti-smoker communists have censoured ONE Beatle photograph. WE still retain millions. :) If you want to sit in your dillusional world and believe the Beatles never smoked, drank, swore, adultered, and sinned in any way, go ahead, Amanda Sandford, head of the Anti-Drug Committee. Then we amebas can ask whose REALLY the brainwashed figure in this equation.

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